When Prince Charming turns into Prince Harming

prince charming

I’m sure we’ve all been there before. Meet a guy and everything just seems too good to be true…..he’s attentive, he’s complimentary, and then all of a sudden there are slight comments or suggestions about your appearance, what you are wearing, your body shape, how you do your hair. Suggestions about how you should behave, socialise, etc etc.

But initially you ignore it as you are so head over heels you are keen to please them. And then all of a sudden you’ve gone from being an outgoing confident person to a nervous and neurotic wreck who has totally lost all self esteem and is second guessing everything.

But when does wanting to please your partner cross the line and turn you into a doormat who is being controlled?! The switch from Prince Charming to Prince Harming isn’t always that obvious.

What do you do? I can speak from past experiences where I did not have boundaries and allowed this sort of behaviour and ignored the red flags that were waving about in front of my eyes.

Having personal boundaries is so important. And the confidence to recognise such behaviour and red flags and nip it in the bud. Or alternatively, move on! There is most definitely someone out there who wouldn’t dream of trying to change you!

Thoughts? Been in a relationship with a control freak? Tell us all about it!

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She works hard for the money!

money can't buy love

The dating scene in Sydney is always a hot topic of conversation for various reasons – mainly due to the lack of suitable partners that are available, single, aren’t commitment phobes and don’t involve having a hidden spouse and a few kids on the side that they ‘forget’ to mention.

Now I’m not being jaded, but more ‘realistic’. I can’t even begin to recount how many conversations I’ve had or overheard about the Sydney dating scene and how difficult it is to find that ‘right’ person.

A friend recently told me about a dating agency that specialises in introductions. Two girlfriends of his joined up to this agency and for a paltry $5,000 each they would receive not one, not two, not three but 4 introductions to potential suitors.

I was gobsmacked. Initially that there is a market for this sort of thing but that people pay for it?! I mean $5k is a hefty sum and for no guarantee that you will actually meet someone you will even like, let alone potentially be in a relationship with?

I recall last year being at a bar with a girlfriend and a okay-ish looking chap came over and we started dancing. Less than 2 mins into the dance, a younger, much hotter female swooped over and dragged him away from me. It was clear from the look on his face that he had never met this woman before. I was left on the dancefloor a bit shocked but also couldn’t stop laughing that people actually resort to such tactics!! It reminded me of a scene out of The Batchelor or something. It really is dog eat dog out there in the dating world!!

What are your thoughts on paying an introduction agency such a hefty sum to potentially meet your Mr or Mrs Right?!

More money than sense if you ask me!!

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When you can smell your date before you even meet them

bo

I was chatting online with a guy and we’d arranged to meet for a date nearby his office.

He was running late from work and I decided to wait outside the bar for him, even though it was snowing outside. I just have a ‘thing’ about walking into bars on my own and waiting for people by the bar.

About 20 mins after we were meant to meet I get a text from the guy saying he was waiting for me inside. I walked in and was looking for the ‘tall’ dark haired guy that was described in the profile and the pic.  There was an awful strong smell of BO near me and this guy turned around and looked up at me . It was my date.

Jeeeez……so he wasn’t the 6’2 guy he described in his profile, more 5’8. So I looked like a giant in comparison in my high heels. But I quickly realised the strong BO smell was coming from him. Fark.  It was the middle of winter and he was stinking like he was in the middle of the Sahara…..

The conversation was less than riveting, he was talking about politics. Now I’m no airhead but I don’t really follow what is going on with politics as it bores me senseless. He clearly didn’t see how bored I was and was rabbiting on and being rather critical of me not being up to date with all the current goings on of the world.

All of a sudden a guy he recognises from his office turns up, and they start talking. I saw an out. An escape from the political humdrum I was being subjected to. I was bored stiff, it was my only night free that week and I was losing the will to live.

I politely said, oh I don’t want to interrupt, it seems like you have work stuff to talk about, I will just leave you both to it.

No please stay and let me buy you another drink he says! Hmmmm……..

After an awkward pause, I said, really sorry I’m just not feeling that we are ‘meshing’ very well this evening. And before he could say otherwise I was out the door and on the tube home……phew!

Now maybe I’m being picky but a bit of deodorant doesn’t go amiss when you’re trying to make a good impression? If he smelled that bad in winter I was too scared to imagine how bad he would have smelled in the height of summer……yuk.  I love the manly scent of aftershave mixed with their natural scent, it gets the pheromones racing!

Have you been stink bombed before? Tell us all about it!

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Sexpectations

sexpectations

According to a survey conducted by the Daily Mail – men expect sex after three dates and one in five men expect to sleep with their date if they spend 100 quid on dinner.

Surely an expensive dinner is not a guarantee that you’ll get laid? Everyone has their different ideas about how many dates to have before doing the wild thing and it all depends on the individual, but it would be awful to think that a guy is just going through the motions of the actual dates just to get you in the sack?!

I like to test this theory out, not because I’m a game player, but to see how many dates I can have with a particular person to see if they are genuinely interested in getting to know me or are they just going through the motions in the hope of some booty action. I had 4 dates with a particular chap once and they all went very well (or so I thought). I was tempted to sleep with him after the third date but it had been awhile and I was a bit nervous. Fourth date came and went and ended up with a snogathon on his sofa for a good two hours…….

He dropped me off that evening and I never heard a peep out of him after that. He removed me from Facebook and that was the end of that! I don’t generally play games but my theory of testing out the ‘sexpectations’ proved me right with him.  I like the whole courting procedure, and dating, I don’t see the rush to jump into bed together so early if the time isn’t right for both parties? But that is my perogative….. and it can take me a few dates to see whether that person is worthy of some bedroom action!

One of my guy friends once said to me that if he didn’t get a girl into bed after three dates he would have given up altogether!

Different courses for different horses I guess?!

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Do Strong Women Scare Men Off?

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thesearethedatesofourlives:

I really like this article by Single Dating Diva……about strong women. Do they put men off?! Well worth a read

Originally posted on Single Dating Diva:

So here’s the dilemma – gender roles aren’t what they used to be. For one reason or another, women are much more fiercely independent than ever and that’s not such a bad thing. Not at all. Women are in positions of power, they are gainfully employed, they own their own homes, they travel on their own, they live fully happy lives without the assistance of a man – women do it for themselves. They CAN do it so they do it. No one is disputing how significant this is. It’s awesome! But, how does this really affect men? How does it affect dating? My question is: do strong women scare men off?

Do Strong Women Scare Men Off?

strong-womenI recently had this discussion with some good friends of mine. We’re all strong, fiercely independent women who never had anything handed to them in life. We’ve worked hard for what we have…

View original 1,157 more words

Liar liar pants on fire!

liar

So I met a guy online and I didn’t really like his name……Tony. Just didn’t ever imagine myself with a ‘Tony’. Sounds stupid I know but I have to like the name……..

The night of the date arrived and it was going really well! Tony was good looking, engaging and really funny, he had me in stitches.

Drinks turned into dinner, and then icecream after.

The conversation was flowing……I said, so tell me, is Tony short for Antony? I was thinking how I could make the name more acceptable.

There was total silence from Tony. His face went as white as a sheet and he starts stumbling, ohhh I have something to tell you. He looked stricken.

My name isn’t really Tony……its Matthew. I gave you the wrong name.

My reaction was, oh thank fuck for that I HATE the name Tony…..

and then, um why did you lie about your name?!! That’s really weird.

Oh there are heaps of stalkers out there he said…….errrrr ok…..

And he lied about his age. 3 times.

Seriously, what is the point in that?! Honesty in relationships is so important and if you are going to lie from the get go, then what hope do you have for the future?!

Experience with exaggerators of the truth?! We want to hear all about it!

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ADD……Another dating disaster!

 

bill

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another online date….profile was interesting, a good array of ‘action’ shot type photos, the standard photo at someone’s wedding and a very good looking profile pic. He looked like a cheeky chappie and I was right….

He asked me for my number straight off and called me to arrange a date. The day before our date he calls me on my mobile whilst I was at work to boast about selling a yacht……he’s in the boating industry.

Firstly I thought, err ok why are you telling me this and secondly I’m at work! It all seemed overly familiar and like he was trying to blow his own trumpet. He said that we would have lots to celebrate when we met the next night.

We meet at a wine bar for a couple of drinks. There was more boasting about his success with the sale of the yacht…..yawn. I’m all for people having success in their lives but conversation is a two way street! I actually counted there was a time span of 15 minutes I was completely mute as he was talking non stop about himself.

I suggested we order some food as a) I was hungry and b) I thought it might shut him up for a bit…….

The bill arrives and he says ‘wow this is expensive for what we had’ two starters and 6 drinks for $100? I thought it seemed fairly reasonable and considering how much talk there was of his work success and how much money he made,  I thought that it wouldn’t have been too much for him to contend with.

He asked me whether I was going to contribute to the bill and then promptly said, actually you don’t have to if you don’t want to so I said, ok I won’t then! He looked a bit taken aback and said I can pay ‘the next time’.

I thought that was terribly presumptuous and wasn’t sure if my ears were up to another date of him harping on about himself. I jokingly said that he was getting a bit ahead of himself and that I’d let him know. That joke went down like a lead balloon.

We went outside and it was pouring with rain. I didn’t have an umbrella with me and my house was a good 2o minutes walk down the street. He was parked in front of the bar. He promptly said bye and see you around. No offer of a ride home in the rain for me…….

What a gentleman!

Does this story ring familiar with one of your own? Email : thesearethedatesofourlives@gmail.com

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