All text no trousers

bad first dateThere is absolutely nothing worse than having that amazing that pre date text banter and you are rocking up to the date thinking, if the banter is as good in real life as it is on text we are in for an amazing time together…..

And there is ZERO convo.  Bollox.

Looking into your emptying wine glass is more enjoying….or the wall. Or your fingernails…..

Anything to make eye contact. And you’re racking your brains to think of something witty to revive the date….like jumper leads to a beaten down car.

Its such a massive disappointment. All that pre date banter, back and forth, razor sharp wit and then face to face its deadpan. WTF.

It reminds me of that 80’s film Roxanne……Steve Martin is the voice over for the himbo fireman when he’s trying to woo Daryl Hannah….surely if you can text witty remarks in a nanosecond, you can deliver them face to face? Why do some just fall flat on their face?

Its a do you drink through it and hope they get more funny or do you just do a runner kind of scenario. To be honest, I’d rather drink alone and talk funny banter to myself than have to sit through an excruciating date with someone with zero chat……

First date fails? Tell us all about them…..all stories submitted will remain anonymous!

Email :

Visit our Facebook page or follow us on Twitter



The magician boyfriend…….here one minute, gone the next!


An online date which started off a little awkward and then after an hour or so, CLICK! Banter is flowing, having a laugh and you can tell that person is really engaging with you.

A follow up date is arranged and all of a sudden you’ve seen that person 4 times in a week……and the click just keeps on clicking! I am generally reserved with revealing my feelings until I’m pretty sure that the other person feels the same. I like to know which side my bread is buttered on. In the very short space of time with this particular fellow, we had gone from strangers to feeling like we’d know each other for years, all in the space of a few weeks.

There was alot of ‘we’ talk……we will do this, we must go to this restaurant, we must hang out all weekend together, we must holiday together, we we we we we ……..all of a sudden you’ve got a future mapped out before your very eyes! All of a sudden I was subjected to the ‘in a relationship’ status on Facebook and subject to the Spanish inquisition from family and friends about who this person was that they’d not heard about? I was being tagged in every status update, photos, restaurant check in – the world and his wife knew about our every move.  Part of me was enjoying the ride and another part thought, gosh if this blows up it will be rather embarrassing for me.

I must admit it’s nice to feel part of a ‘we’………then there was the alluding to the L word from him on various occasions……now I don’t say that lightly but all the ‘we’ talk and the clicks (and various shots of Cafe Patron) were getting me carried away and I said it back. To be fair, I probably would have told the brick wall I loved it I was that inebriated!

And then like magic, poof! Off he disappears into a puff of smoke never to be seen again. The pre arranged date, I got stood up for and the texts unanswered resulted in egg on my face big time for my short lived and highly publicized relationship via social media. I wanted the ground to swallow me up it was so cringe!

Now I’m certain that he wasn’t abducted by aliens as a friend of mine spotted him on Tinder very shortly after…….bless…..

Have you had a ‘we’ experience? Then ‘WE’ want to hear all about it!!

Email your stories to :


Visit our Facebook page or follow us on Twitter

All stories will be kept anonymous unless you want to name and shame!


First & Last date….


So I arrived in a new city and thought what better way than to see the sights than with a local? So I signed up to RSVP and hit it off instantly with one particular chap. The banter was excellent, I could almost feel steam coming off my fingers from typing the messages to him on instant messenger. He suggested a date later in the week and I gladly accepted.

Date night arrives and I was full of excitement and feeling like a giddy teenager. The banter had been continuing via text leading up to the date and I was expecting to have a really fun night. The wine was flowing but the conversation wasn’t. Where was this hilarious guy that I had been chatting with so animatedly? It was literally like getting blood out of a stone trying to get the conversation going. We both knew it was flailing miserably so what was the solution? Wine…..and a lot of it. After the second bottle the banter was back and he got even better looking 🙂

A cheeky snog outside the front of the restaurant ended back at mine doing the business… I don’t normally pull out all the stops on the first date but I was plastered and it had been awhile. I woke up in the morning and what did I see next to me? A large brown smudge on my brand new Egyptian cotton 300 count sheets. My date had left me with a parting gift…….a skid mark! Blimey! The verbal diarrhea that I was loving on our online chats was not what I was expecting on my sheets. Needless to say, I didn’t see him again. I still laugh about this, and even more so as his surname is Brown! Seriously if your date is too lazy to wipe his own ass what hope does that hold for the future?!!

Experience with soiled sheets? Email your stories to :


Visit our Facebook page or follow us on Twitter

All stories will be kept anonymous unless you want to name and shame!