All text no trousers

bad first dateThere is absolutely nothing worse than having that amazing that pre date text banter and you are rocking up to the date thinking, if the banter is as good in real life as it is on text we are in for an amazing time together…..

And there is ZERO convo.  Bollox.

Looking into your emptying wine glass is more enjoying….or the wall. Or your fingernails…..

Anything to make eye contact. And you’re racking your brains to think of something witty to revive the date….like jumper leads to a beaten down car.

Its such a massive disappointment. All that pre date banter, back and forth, razor sharp wit and then face to face its deadpan. WTF.

It reminds me of that 80’s film Roxanne……Steve Martin is the voice over for the himbo fireman when he’s trying to woo Daryl Hannah….surely if you can text witty remarks in a nanosecond, you can deliver them face to face? Why do some just fall flat on their face?

Its a do you drink through it and hope they get more funny or do you just do a runner kind of scenario. To be honest, I’d rather drink alone and talk funny banter to myself than have to sit through an excruciating date with someone with zero chat……

First date fails? Tell us all about them…..all stories submitted will remain anonymous!

Email :

Visit our Facebook page or follow us on Twitter



Desperado…….why don’t you stop with the texting


During my various on and off forays into online dating I’ve encountered some real gems….

I think its good to have a bit of texting banter before you meet……it can give you a really good insight as to how a person ticks. And the more you text, the more you can find out whether a person is being themselves and spot when weird behaviours start surfacing.

If you’re anything like me and is prone to a few vinos of an evening, texting virtual strangers isn’t really a good idea…..not only are your boundaries non existent but any oddities in the other persons character seem perfectly normal at the time  and you end getting a teeny bit carried away with the banter and then in the cold light of sober day you think, fark what have I been saying?!

I was receiving regular emails one day from a particular chap who was very friendly, VERY keen from the get go, but also very cute. We swapped numbers and all of a sudden I’m being bombarded with texts that evening. The banter was flowing and I vaguely remember agreeing to meet up for lunch the following day. The straw that broke the camels back for me was receiving a text from him the following morning at 5.45am. The buzzing noise of my phone jolted me out of my hungover slumber and my bleary eyes read ‘good morning gorgeous girl! just on my way to work xxxxx’.

Fan-effing-tastic. That was certainly worth being woken up for at some ungodly hour! Seriously I wasn’t interested if he was going to work, and certainly not at 5.45am! I’m not a morning person, and especially a morning person with a twinge of hangover. Not impressed. I didn’t respond to the message and then all throughout the morning was receiving a blow by blow commentary of his meetings, getting coffee, what ‘we’ were going to do over the weekend and in the future……we hadn’t met up for the lunch date by this stage! Fark, this guy was full on. I felt like I had been fastforwarded to girlfriend status in less than 24 hours! Now I’m all for someone showing interest but this was way too over the top.

I’m generally prone to bolting when someone acts like this, get the jogging shoes on and run as fast as Forrest Gump…..

Thankfully that day it was pouring with rain and I used that excuse to cancel our lunch date…….

As Milli Vanilli would say ‘Blame it on the Rain’………

After about a week of no response to his messages, he got the hint.

Have you ever had someone text their way out of a first date by being overzealous or just downright weird?! We wanna hear all about it!

Email your stories to :


Visit our Facebook page or follow us on Twitter

All stories will be kept anonymous unless you want to name and shame!


The 10 Commandments for texting…..



We’ve all had texting mishaps, you send the text to the wrong person, and as you watch that text being delivered you feel that sinking feeling in your stomach…..farrrrrrrrrk!

Here are our rules of thumb for texting……the devil makes work for idle thumbs remember!!

1. Thou shalt not drink and text

2. Thou shalt not get friends to compose text to potential new boyfriend/girlfriend

3. Thou shalt not repeatedly text if you have not received an answer – stalker alert!

4. Thou shalt not respond to a text within a nanosecond……give it some time!

5. Thou shalt not fight, break up or argue via text

6. Thou shalt not play games – its immature and it gets you nowhere, fast

7. Thou shalt not text just because you’re bored

8. Thou shalt not text for attention seeking – that wears thin on anyone pretty quickly

9.  Thou shalt not compose an essay. Keep it interesting. No one wants to hear a blow by blow commentary of your day

10. Thou shall – be yourself!! Its all well and good trying to be like someone else over text, not that easy to keep it up face to face!